Help??

[PacificFire]

Hi there,

I have been looking for somewhere online for my kind of issue, but cannot seem to find anything.. So I thought I'd post something and see if anyone has any ideas..

My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We have been on the 'swinging' scene for the past 10 years on and off. Mostly successful, with a few hiccups, but nothing that hasn't be able to be resolved before. This time its a bit different, and I'm trying to work out if its just me!

Ok, here goes. In the past when we 'see' couples, it has always developed into a longer term thing, rather that one offs. The same is for this time, it seems to be developing into a longer term thing, but I am just not happy about it, but I can't seem to figure out why.

The female of the other couple seems to have developed more than just the normal lust feelings for my husband, or so it seems to me. This has happened in the past (both ways), but this time he just doesn't see it, and no I'm wondering whether I am just being paraniod.

Maybe I'm just getting too old for this scene! lol

When the other couple are around (socially or otherwise) my husband seems to 'forget' me. It seems that when we are all together, we must always pair off into my hubby his wife, and me and her hubby. If I try to approach my hubby, he seems to back away. There doesn't seem to be any obvious affection between the other couple, whereas there usually is between my hubby and me. Except when they are around. When we are alone, everything is back to normal and all good. I have tried viocing my concerns, but they seem to be falling on deaf ears.

Please tell me I am being silly.. lol

I just don't know where to go from here.. Any ideas??

Have I been clear?? lol

[Hrafn]

A similar thing happened to me. It's kinda like you describe, our problem came more when the female half of the other couple and I(male) would go do "buddy" stuff together. I ended up "emotionally cheating" on my sweetie. She "hit me upside the head with a 2x4" and got my attention about it. It has taken about 4 years, but we are back to having a good relationship between us and the other couple.

I'm not sure that that would work for you. You're communicating, it seems, and your hubby's not listening.

Good luck with this. I hope my bit of sharing is helpful.

[greg684]

i'm involved with 2 couples. one of the couples told me that the reason why they ended it with the couple they were involved was a jealousy issue. the male guy was jealous of his wife's reaction to my married gf's husband. i think the woman is not showing you any respect as well as your husband. i think you need to tell him how you feel and hopefully he will respect your feelings. best of luck on your search.