processing on schedules?

[OverArgyle]

I'm wondering how often other folks here end up processing?
Do you set a specific schedule or date to have a "check-in"?
Do you do is just as it is needed?

Just curious. It seems to be a universal experience for open relationships. Wondering how formal it is in your routine.

[Euphrates]

We're still trying to "find normal" (our lady moved down to be near us at the end of June, and most of July was full of crazed traveling and various events that kept us busy), so we're still working it out. We haven't set a specific day, but we're trying to "check in" at least once a week right now. She's working for a nursing agency so her schedule is really varied, and it's tough to plan anything more than a week ahead (heck, it's tough to plan even within the week sometimes).

Me, I'd like to have something more formal. But I'm the organized one, and "free fall" tends to make me twitchy.

So far we've done okay at making time in the moment whenever there's a problem or someone feels they need to talk something out as it happens. We really really want to do this "right" (in terms of being mindful and avoiding pitfalls), and we're all reading Tristan's book right now (okay, I've already finished it, our lady is about half-way through, and my mate's copy arrived in the mail Wednesday and he's through the first chapter) and I'm working on Raven Kaldera's book Pagan Polyamory (which has some neat ideas I think we're going to try). But we're still laying the groundwork, as we're still transitioning from LDR to having her live across the parking lot (same apartment complex).

Looking forward to hearing other responses.

Eu

[glamgothdiva]

It depends, with my husbands steady GF we have a schedule set up and check in's are more general like the way you talk about any family member. Its more stuff like did you guys have fun today etc. Occasionally and more recently all three of us have had family talks about some other potential life changes. But all of us check in with each other.. her and I talk often.

With other playmate situations its a little more immediate. A friend came to visit and my husband made sure he pulled me away the next morning to just check in make sure all was well and let me know how much he loved me and encourage me that all things were happy and well. Then sent me off to frolic some more. Then we touched base more once the friend left.

We also have the tenancy to just talk about what we want and desire. So for us its not that we plan all this it is just a natural way for both of us to be.