Comments for Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up: Open Relationships, Polyamory, Non-Monogamy, Polyfidelity, Open Marriage http://www.openingup.net creating and sustaining open relationships Fri, 05 Sep 2008 22:49:03 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 Comment on Columbus Buckeyes by Anita Wagner http://www.openingup.net/2008/07/19/columbus-buckeyes/#comment-37 Anita Wagner Sun, 20 Jul 2008 17:47:43 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/2008/07/19/columbus-buckeyes/#comment-37 Tristan, sounds like you had a great experience in the heartland. About that cupcake - old sweaters??? Yuck! That must taste awful. (LOL) It does look adorable. Tristan, sounds like you had a great experience in the heartland.

About that cupcake - old sweaters??? Yuck! That must taste awful. (LOL) It does look adorable.

]]> Comment on Podcast Mania by agahran http://www.openingup.net/2008/06/25/podcast-mania/#comment-29 agahran Mon, 30 Jun 2008 21:05:48 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/2008/06/25/podcast-mania/#comment-29 Hi, Tristan Just listened to both parts of your excellent PolyWeekly interview. Well done, both you & the Minx! Thanks also for answering my question regarding communication about safer sex in open relationships. I agree, you have to get much more specific than just "safer sex," since people have very different ideas about what they need or expect in that regard. I'd like to take this a little further. I'd love to hear your thoughts/advice on these aspects of safer sex communication in open relationships: 1) Safer sex is often surprisingly hard to discuss. People often have strong negative emotional reactions to communication about safer sex practices and agreements. Some find discussing these details too clinical, invasive, unromantic, controlling -- or as implying that someone's not smart, "dirty," or not trustworthy. How can people in an open relationship deal with these kinds of resistance -- either by working through them, or by coming to terms with having only protected sex (even between committed partners, such as spouses). 2) People often attach a lot of symbolic or emotional meaning to unprotected sex -- as a symbol of status ("as spouses, we're fluid bonded, so protected sex only with all other partners") or intimacy (getting rid of the barriers means we're emotionally closer or more committed). Can this be a pitfall; and if so, how? 3) If you're in a situation where two or more partners are fluid-bonded and someone wants to start having unprotected sex with another partner, what responsibilities do all of the people involved have in communicating about this issue up front? And what are some tips for handling the situation if someone in the original fluid-bonded group does not wish to be indirectly fluid-bonded with the new partner? Thanks! - Amy Gahran Hi, Tristan

Just listened to both parts of your excellent PolyWeekly interview. Well done, both you & the Minx!

Thanks also for answering my question regarding communication about safer sex in open relationships. I agree, you have to get much more specific than just “safer sex,” since people have very different ideas about what they need or expect in that regard.

I’d like to take this a little further. I’d love to hear your thoughts/advice on these aspects of safer sex communication in open relationships:

1) Safer sex is often surprisingly hard to discuss. People often have strong negative emotional reactions to communication about safer sex practices and agreements. Some find discussing these details too clinical, invasive, unromantic, controlling — or as implying that someone’s not smart, “dirty,” or not trustworthy. How can people in an open relationship deal with these kinds of resistance — either by working through them, or by coming to terms with having only protected sex (even between committed partners, such as spouses).

2) People often attach a lot of symbolic or emotional meaning to unprotected sex — as a symbol of status (”as spouses, we’re fluid bonded, so protected sex only with all other partners”) or intimacy (getting rid of the barriers means we’re emotionally closer or more committed). Can this be a pitfall; and if so, how?

3) If you’re in a situation where two or more partners are fluid-bonded and someone wants to start having unprotected sex with another partner, what responsibilities do all of the people involved have in communicating about this issue up front? And what are some tips for handling the situation if someone in the original fluid-bonded group does not wish to be indirectly fluid-bonded with the new partner?

Thanks!

- Amy Gahran

]]> Comment on St. Louis by Ohari http://www.openingup.net/2008/06/20/st-louis/#comment-27 Ohari Fri, 20 Jun 2008 21:40:06 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/2008/06/20/st-louis/#comment-27 Thank You for coming to our town! I sent you an email this morning at the address published on this site, with more complete and accurate details of the local poly resources/groups here. Feel free to share! Thank You for coming to our town! I sent you an email this morning at the address published on this site, with more complete and accurate details of the local poly resources/groups here. Feel free to share!

]]> Comment on Madison, Wisconsin by betty http://www.openingup.net/2008/06/18/madison-wisconsin/#comment-26 betty Fri, 20 Jun 2008 01:22:16 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/2008/06/18/madison-wisconsin/#comment-26 I've seen the luggage. I've even helped move a very small portion of it. It's intense. Colten is a hero. Jeebus, I so want to follow you two on tour just once. :D I’ve seen the luggage. I’ve even helped move a very small portion of it.

It’s intense.

Colten is a hero.

Jeebus, I so want to follow you two on tour just once.

:D

]]> Comment on Violet Blue’s Interview with Me in SF Chronicle by sexie sadie http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/29/violet-blues-interview-with-me-in-sf-chronicle/#comment-19 sexie sadie Thu, 29 May 2008 20:10:16 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/29/violet-blues-interview-with-me-in-sf-chronicle/#comment-19 Hi Tristan! I read Violet's article with interest as I am in an Open Marriage and blog about it daily. And, I, too, am writing a book on my experiences being "open". I look forward to reading yours and I will probably be at the release party at Good Vibes next week!!! xoxo~Sadie confessionsfrommyopenmarriage.blogspot.com/ Hi Tristan!

I read Violet’s article with interest as I am in an Open Marriage and blog about it daily. And, I, too, am writing a book on my experiences being “open”. I look forward to reading yours and I will probably be at the release party at Good Vibes next week!!!
xoxo~Sadie confessionsfrommyopenmarriage.blogspot.com/

]]> Comment on Book Excerpt by Opening Up! « The Official Early to Bed Blog! http://www.openingup.net/bookexcerpt/#comment-18 Opening Up! « The Official Early to Bed Blog! Wed, 28 May 2008 19:49:04 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/bookexcerpt/#comment-18 [...] in lot of different ways. You can read more about the book and open relationships at her website openingup.net. We’ll have the book in stock at the shop just as soon as we can get our sticky fingers on [...] […] in lot of different ways. You can read more about the book and open relationships at her website openingup.net. We’ll have the book in stock at the shop just as soon as we can get our sticky fingers on […]

]]> Comment on Chicago People and Early To Bed by serpentlibertine http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/22/chicago-people-and-early-to-bed/#comment-17 serpentlibertine Sat, 24 May 2008 05:25:27 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/22/chicago-people-and-early-to-bed/#comment-17 I would totally love to go on the road and demonstrate sex positions for you Tristan! And my friend totally would, too. I would totally love to go on the road and demonstrate sex positions for you Tristan! And my friend totally would, too.

]]> Comment on Awesome Party! Awesome Party! by slick78 http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/21/awesome-party-awesome-party/#comment-15 slick78 Thu, 22 May 2008 12:01:41 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/21/awesome-party-awesome-party/#comment-15 congrats on the successful book party. judging from what I've been able to read thus far in the book it is going to continue to be a knock-out! congrats on the successful book party. judging from what I’ve been able to read thus far in the book it is going to continue to be a knock-out!

]]> Comment on Red Light District Interview, Part 1 by colten http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/01/red-light-district-interview-part-1/#comment-14 colten Sat, 17 May 2008 00:16:58 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/01/red-light-district-interview-part-1/#comment-14 this came out really well! this came out really well!

]]> Comment on Getting Excited for the Party by colten http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/07/getting-excited-for-the-party/#comment-13 colten Sat, 17 May 2008 00:16:23 +0000 http://www.openingup.net/2008/05/07/getting-excited-for-the-party/#comment-13 it twas a blast, even though I was very, very busy the entire time. Cheers to Mark, Patricia and Tristan on their new books! it twas a blast, even though I was very, very busy the entire time. Cheers to Mark, Patricia and Tristan on their new books!

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