My trip to Boston was fantastic: a standing room only reading at indie bookstore Symposium Books on Saturday and a sold-out workshop at Good Vibrations on Monday. Boston was showing me some major love! Plus, I got to hang out with my big brother and his partner and spend some quality time together. As promised, several people at the workshop requested local resources, and here they are:

Poly Boston

Informal Poly Meet Ups: Tuesday at the Diesel Cafe in Davis Square.  They run from 4 pm-10 pm, with most people showing up between 5-7 pm.  This has no formal organizer and no host.  Just show up.

Queer Women’s Poly Meet Up: the 2nd Wednesday of the month. Please RSVP to Donna, dalbino83 at yahoo.com.

Monday Poly Dinners at Bertucci’s: Every fourth Monday at the Bertucci’s Pizzeria at the Alewife T station.  Please RSVP to Jay, js at aq.org.

Bostonians and other locals, feel free to chime in via the comments with others…

Sorry to be MIA for a few months, but I have been busier than ever! After New Orleans, I took a much-need vacation in Europe. As soon as I got back to the states, I hit the ground running to prepare for a grueling shoot schedule in August. In LA, we filmed four new movies: Midori’s Expert Guide to Sensual Bondage with world-renowned bondage expert/sex educator Midori; my Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men (finally!); Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex; and a new series I’m shooting for Vivid called Rough Sex. Stay tuned for details about the release of all those movies in the next 12 months! While in LA, I also had a standing room only Opening Up reading at Book Soup in West Hollywood, and they sold out of books! Woo-hoo!

We just returned from our most successful Dark Odyssey: Summer Camp ever: the event was sold out, the weather was gorgeous, and much fun was had by all. Look for my Village Voice column next week about one particular thing at camp. And mark your calendars now for Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire which will be Valentine’s Weekend, February 13-15, 2009, in Washington DC. You do not want to miss it!

Although I always say I am going to slow things down, the Fall is already pretty booked. I am thrilled to be a keynote speaker at the 8th annual Poly Pride Day in Central Park in New York City on October 4, and I’ll read at the poly book reading at Bluestockings the next day. After that, I head to Wooster, Boston, and Portland, Maine, and Minnesota State University/Mankato for some cool events. In November, I will be in the other Portland (Oregon) as well as Seattle. Right now, I am finishing up a new book, editing my latest Vivid-Ed title, Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes, and working on a project I am not quite ready to tell you about. Patience. I don’t want to jinx it!

We were sharing an exhibitor’s booth with Mark and Patricia at the big AASECT conference in June. Mark was so sweet to come pick us up at the airport in New Orleans and drive us to the hotel. We were staying at the hotel across the street from the one the conference was in (much cheaper). We literally dropped our bags and headed to the Sheraton to set up in the Exhibitor space. We saw Candida Royalle and Jamye Waxman right away but I was so stressed and exhausted, I didn’t have time to talk. After a lot of wrangling, we managed to find all our boxes which had been shipped to the hotel—we had 10 between us and it took several tries to locate all of them—and Colten took charge of setting up the booth. We had been put next to—I kid you not—a big sexual addiction clinic, probably the worst neighbors we could have asked for. They had this huge vertical banner standing on top of their table which completely blocked us. Nice. Plus, said banner had all these “conditions” listed like sexual addiction and sexual anorexia. We finished setting up and it was probably close to 9 pm, and we were exhausted. We walked to the French Quarter, ate some po boys, then collapsed into bed for a super early wake up.

The exhibitors area opened the next morning at 7:30, but when the alarm clock went off, I couldn’t bear it. So, Colten went ahead without me and I slept for another hour. The booth was super crowded at around 10:00 am and we were swamped until the next session of plenaries began. At about 11:30, I got a taxi and headed over to WBOK, where Astroglide had scheduled a radio interview for me. I didn’t know anything about the station or the show, so I was flying by the seat of my pants. When I arrived, there was this big mural painted on the wall that read: WBOK: All Gospel All The Time. I suddenly realized I was at an all black and possibly all gospel radio station. What???? Well, it turned out there were some talk programs as well, but I still felt way out of my element. I met the host, Kay Jay, about 30 seconds before the show started, and so I had no idea what to expect. She opened by talking about Opening Up and she had some neutral questions, which seemed promising. The phone started to light up and we took calls from people who said I was immoral, etc. etc. Kay Jay asked me on a break to give her some questions to ask me, so I quickly did that. She was very warm and generous and non-judgmental, she really let me talk. At one point though, she slipped in, “Well, I am Catholic and think this is immoral, let’s take the next caller!” Yikes. I just kept going, clarifying what polyamory is, etc. We were on for about 45 minutes, then I was done. I drove back to the hotel and it got busy once again.

It was a busy day overall, and we talked to lots of people. Exhibiting ended at 6:00 pm, and Colten and I went to GW Fins, a seafood restaurant in the French Qaurter that Buck and Elayne took us to the last time we were in New Orleans. I remembered it being great, so we made a reservation in advance. We had a really nice meal, then walked through the French Quarter home to our hotel.

Saturday morning was the second and final day of vending, and we decided to discount our products in the second half of the day to unload whatever we could. I got to sit and chat with Paul Joannides (author of The Guide to Getting It On) who I’ve only met one other time. We got to bitch about the sorry state of publishing, etc. I also met J.D. Bauchery, a totally super-cool chick who works at HotMoviesForHer.com, an online video store which caters to women. J.D. often reviews my videos, and it was great to meet her in person. I think we’re going to do an interview for the site soon. Joan Price, the author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, came up an introduced herself. I interviewed her via email for my voice column “Knocking Vintage Boots” but never met her face to face. What a little spitfire! Wow, she has so much passion and energy, and I just loved her! I want to adopt her as my mom! We rounded out our exhibiting by practically giving stuff away it was so cheap, then we packed it all up. We headed back to our hotel and again I was super exhausted, but I had to finish my Voice column that night! So I fired up the laptop and got to work while Colten went out and got us some dinner. My editor was off for a few days, so my column never ran and now will run this week supposedly.

You may have noticed I’ve been off the grid…I was in Europe and I shall tell you all about it. But first, we must pick up where we left off: Columbus, Ohio.

We arrived in Delaware, Ohio at Mireille and Dorian’s house where we planned to stay overnight. It was pouring rain! I met Mireille at a conference in May; she is a professor at UC Santa Barbara, and we hit it off right away. This was the first time we got to meet each other’s partners. Then Colten and I were off to Columbus. We had dinner with Michael and Robbie who showed us the Pride Issue of Outlook Weekly, hot off the press! Outlook Weekly co-sponsored my Columbus reading and really helped get the word out.

Michael, Robbie, and I with the Pride issue of Outlook Weekly

After dinner, we headed to a Chinese restaurant where a group of about twenty-five people from a local poly group were eating. They had made my reading their monthly outing! We visited for a while with Barak and Brat Sheba of Adventures in Sexuality (who have presented at Dark Odyssey and are wonderful), and I was surprised to learn that Julia, who we know from DO too, has moved to Columbus to be with her sweetheart.

We all went over to Borders where I was greeted by a nice woman who showed me where I’d be reading. This was my first Opening Up reading at a big chain store (rather than an independent one), and I realized that I had to edit my talk slightly since there would be customers (especially kids) roaming the store. Lorna drove from Yellow Springs, Mireille and Dorian were there, and so was Luster, who we haven’t seen in a million years. Luster is an amazing performer and drag king from Columbus who also organizes the International Drag King Extravaganza (IDKE), which is celebrating its 10th anniversary this fall.

I read for a while then took questions. We raffled off the Astroglide basket, and a well-know guy from the local poly community, along with several of his partners, were thrilled to win. It was once again standing room only at the store (with over 50 people there, and one clerk told me they expected 10-15), and they sold out of books! The Midwest just showed me so much love—I cannot get over it!

One of my interviewees in Columbus came to the reading and introduced herself and her partner. She was such a sweetheart and she brought me the most amazing gift: a cupcake made of old sweaters created by her mom. How fantastic is that?

Afterwards, we went to a local ice cream place called Graeters, where I ordered the specialty: a buckeye sundae with peanut butter chocolate chip ice cream and hot fudge. It was yummy, but I couldn’t finish it, so Dorian gladly helped me out! We drove back to Delaware in one of the worst rain storms I have ever driven in. There was golf-ball sized rain drops coming down, and it was insane. We all made it home in one piece and the four of us hung out. Mireille and Dorian showed us pictures from their trip to Europe which got me very excited for ours! Then we fell asleep in one of the most comfortable beds we’ve been in on our trip. We woke up the next morning, drove to the airport, and got on a plane to New Orleans!

After St. Louis, we took a little detour up to Indiana, near Michigan City, to see some relatives. It was a relaxing two days; we went out on Lake Michigan and a nearby river. Then we drove down to Yellow Springs, Ohio to visit Lorna, Phil, and Basil. Lorna treated us to amazing home cooked meals as I toiled away on the laptop, finishing my talk for PornoPunkFeminism: Queer Micro-politics and Subaltern Pornographies, the conference I am going to in Spain next week. In the process, I brushed up on my PowerPoint skills and created a presentation that looks really cool! Tonight, we go to Columbus, where I will read at Borders on Sawmill Road. I can’t wait to see all our Columbus friends!

Chris from STL Poly Community was kind enough to send an email and follow up with me after my reading, and now here is the revised, updated list of polyamory resources in St. Louis and Missouri:

Bi State Poly List (Yahoo Group)

St. Louis Poly Community (Yahoo Group)
note: this a restricted-access group, but anyone who mentions coming from openingup.net will be granted
immediate access.

St. Louis Regional Polyamory (SLURP)

These three groups also meet together offline/in real life: there is a Poly Munch the 2nd Saturday of each month from 2:00-4:00 pm at Cici’s Pizza, 9745 Manchester Avenue.

PoDGE stL (Yahoo Group)

PoDGE St. Louis meets the 3rd Tuesday of each month and the location varies. However, the next meeting is Tuesday, June 24 at 7:30 pm at Gelateria del Leone, 3197 South Grand Avenue.

And:

CoMo Poly Yahoo Group (Columbia, MO)

St. Louis Polyamory on LiveJournal

St. Louis Gay Poly Triads

Thanks, Chris!

I slept late for the first time in a very long time, then Kendyl, Mary, Colten, and I went to a crepe place for breakfast/lunch. Then, we went to the St. Louis Zoo in Forest Park. We wandered around and checked out all the animals. Here are some of my favorites (Colten took all the photos):

The Malayan Sun Bear

Mary and I with the elephant exhibit behind us

The Cheetah

We came home and decided to barbeque while Colten and Mary worked on a yard project and I played with their dog Emma.

After dinner, we sampled cupcakes from Kendyl’s favorite bakery, The Cupcakery. I got to try bites of several different kinds. The confetti (yellow cake with buttercream icing) was surprisingly angel foody. The lemon drop (a special that’s not on the usual menu) was amazing, especially the lemon cake. The peanut butter cup (chocolate cake with peanut buttercream frosting) was heavenly! In addition, Kendyl insisted we also try another dessert (from a different place), a special treat called sticky toffee pudding (which is actually like a cake not a pudding) that she loves. It was super sweet, but I admit I was distracted by the cupcakes.

We arrived in St. Louis about an hour before the reading, so it was a quick hello to our friend Kendyl, who we were staying with, and then it was off to the Central West End. When I got to the store, the staff was super nice and welcoming, but I admit I was worried about the turn out. Kendyl promised she had recruited several friends to come, but still, I don’t know very many people in St. Louis! As it approached 7 pm, all the chairs were filled and they started to put out more. Then, those were filled too and so was the room. People began standing in the next room over!

Shane Signorino, who works at the store, said he planned to introduce me. When he got up there, he gave a brief history of Left Bank Books, then began his introduction of me, which he generously agreed to let me reprint (here’s a portion):

What better spearhead could one find for spreading the knowledge of truly open unions than a sexually empowered woman with literary, performance, and artistic acumen. Miss Taormino is a virtual decorated veteran daughter of the sexual revolution…How lucky we are to have the Siddharta, the Gaia, the Rockefeller, the Oprah of psycho-sexual pleasure with us this evening.

In Opening Up, Tristan addresses the archaic mainstream, television spoonfed, traditional monogamous relationship’s loss of vitality, joy, and exploration. With the divorce rate resting at an astounding 75%, it is fairly obvious to the discerning mind that something is not working. Why are sexless/loveless marriages rampant? Why has the evolution of the typical union been considered by many to be “the big fade”? Can we not re-examine our suppositions, superstitions, and insecurities to find a more profound way to love and lust. Miss Taormino screams an emphatic Billy Idol rebel yell of a “Fuck Yes!” She takes her rightful place among other visionaries who continually challenge human beings to realize and revel in tyheir potentialities. In the tumultuous 60s, civil rights advocates, sexual revolution acolytes, psychedelic mind-expansion gurus, and all who sought radical change, were pushing for the next step in human evolution. And these ideals have been resuscitated in recent years as we find ourselves part of a great human epoch where our natural resources have almost dissipated and out ways of life must be examined and created anew. So Tristan brings to her readers the most precious of boons: hope for the long-overdue loving human evolution.

Not only had he read the entire book in anticipation of my reading at the store, his introduction was so thoughtful and eloquent, I was overwhelmed! Plus, his delivery was so amazing, he was actually a hard act to follow. I think I managed. I read a section of the introduction plus two of the profiles of people featured in the book.

The reading went really well, with lots of questions from the audience. One person asked about how she could meet other people into open relationships in the area. Several people from one of the local polyamorous groups in St. Louis offered to share the info, which I agreed to post about. So here goes for all you interested Missourians:

St. Louis Polyamory on LiveJournal

Bi State Poly List (Yahoo Group)

St. Louis Poly Community (Yahoo Group)

At least two of these three groups also meet together offline/in real life: there is a Poly Munch the 2nd Saturday of each month from 2:00-4:00 pm at Cici’s Pizza, 9745 Manchester Avenue.

PoDGE stL (Yahoo Group)

PoDGE St. Louis meets the 3rd Tuesday of each month and the location varies. The next meeting is Tuesday, June 24 at 7:30 pm at Gelateria del Leone, 3197 South Grand Avenue.

After I did some poking around online I also found:

St. Louis Gay Poly Triads

I felt a tremendous amount of love from St. Louis. As I signed people’s books, I got several dinner offers, and wished I could go to all of them. But Kendyl, her partner Mary (who had an exam and came at the end of the reading) and a bunch of their friends planned to take Colten and I to dinner to one of Mary’s favorite spots, Bar Louie. It was way too loud in there, but their tater tots rock.

So, we got up early and hit the road. On the way to Madison, we made a brief stop at Carr Valley Cheese Factory in Mauston, which was nearly overwhelming to a cheese lover like me! They had already finished making cheese for the day, so there was nothing to see through the big glass window. We ate samples, chatted with the women who worked there and walked out with 6 different cheeses plus a cooler to keep them in!

We got a four year old cheddar, applewood smoked cheddar, spicy cranberry-chipotle cheese, aged sheep’s milk cheese, gouda, and garlic cheddar spread.

My cheese stash from Carr Valley. Mmmmmmm…

We arrived in Madison, checked into the hotel, munched on some new cheese, then I got dressed. Graydancer (bondage dude, rope artist, blogger, podcaster, and perv) arrived to interview me for his podcast, Ropecast. He had already listened to Cunning Minx’s interview with me on her podcast, and he was prepared with a unique set of questions so there wouldn’t be any overlap. He’s very bright, personable, and thoughtful, and we had a great conversation. Then, it was off to A Woman’s Touch. The store is really cool, and owner Ellen stayed to meet me even though she had a class to go to. I met her adorable dogs, too! I signed some copies of Opening Up for people and hung out until my class began. I presented my workshop Making Open Relationships Work to a diverse group and got great questions. Afterwards, Colten, Graydancer, his partner, and I went to dinner at a local place called Weary Traveler. How appropriate! Tomorrow, we head to St. Louis!

Me and Graydancer

Traveling is going well, but I must say, one of the toughest things about being on the road is that we are carting around clothes, supplies for workshops, books, Astroglide baskets and samples, and all our other necessities. This is what that looks likes:

Yesterday, we arrived in Minneapolis later than we wanted to because there was a major delay/detour on the way from Milwaukee on the 94. Even with the GPS, it was miserable! We got to our hotel, Chambers, and I was blown away. It’s a super hip, modern, awesome hotel in downtown, one of the nicest places we’ve been put up in a very long time. We headed over to The Smitten Kitten, and I was just amazed. The place was packed, and it just kept getting more crowded.

By the time the reading started, it was standing room only and I think there were 75 people there. The reading went well, followed by lots of smart questions and stimulating discussion. I hung around to talk to people and met some amazing Minnesotans, including one of my interviewees who I had only talked to on the phone. Just like at my other tour events, we had a raffle and the winner won a basket of goodies courtesy of Astroglide.

Astroglide raffle winner

By total coincidence, Deborah Sundahl was in town visiting family (she lives in New Mexico) and she came to my reading. Deborah Sundahl. She is just a legend in my eyes. She came to Wesleyan when I was a baby dyke and showed her movie, How to Female Ejaculate. It was amazing and had a very big impact on me. She was a founder of On Our Backs, which I went on to be editor of in the 90s, and she’s gone on to become a leading expert on the G-spot and female ejaculation. She’s truly a pioneer, a heroine, amazing.

Jessica, me, Deborah, and mommy-to-be Jennifer

Deborah, Colten, Davis, and Jessica, and I went out to the local lesbian bar and restaurant, Pi, for a late dinner. We had some intense conversations and my the time we got to bed I was totally exhausted.

Today, I caught up on email, worked on my new book, and returned phone calls. Then, I was interviewed on the podcast Sex is Fun! We talked about Opening Up, porn, anal sex, and, well, everything. From there, we drove to dinner with Jennifer, Jessica, and Davis at Cue at the Guthrie. I had a wonderful scallop dish, then we ordered all five desserts on the menu and passed them around. My Anal Pleasure 101 workshop was sold out, and we arrived just in time for it to start. Another wonderful crowd (including a few repeats from the night before), and lots of good conversation afterwards. Then, we took some photos, said our goodbyes, and headed back to our hotel.

Wow, Minneapolis really showed me lots of love. And the women of Smitten Kitten really, really know how to treat a girl and show her a good time. I have felt so pampered and valued by them. Seriously, their generosity, humor, and integrity is just so inspiring. Wow, I can’t wait to come back soon. And I don’t have to: I will be back in August for their 5th anniversary celebration (and I’m bringing some special guests with me)! Now, it’s off to bed for an early wake up call. Tomorrow: A Woman’s Touch in Madison: free booksigning at 6, followed by an open relationships workshop at 6:30. Hope to see some of you there!

Smitten Kitten’s cash register