Happy May! Wow, the spring has been very busy for me with lots of travel, college appearances, and other events. In the past few months, I’ve been to the University of Washington in Bothell, Washington D.C., Baltimore, Amherst, Los Angeles, Wesleyan University, Providence, Brown University, Boston, University of Vermont, Milwaukee, and University of Wisconsin in Madison. I also managed to go to the LGBT Equality & Justice Day Rally and Lobby Day in Albany and even made the cover of Headquest Magazine, a trade magazine for head shops (ironic, since I don’t even smoke!)

I’ve got lots of exciting things to announce. My new book for Quiver, The Anal Sex Position Guide, is now available online and in boo kstores. Fleshbot did a cool story about it along with some photos for you to check out! I’m thrilled with how the book turned out: it really is the anal sex coffee table book of my dreams. The latest Vivid-Ed movie, Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex, was released in March and has gotten lots of good buzz. And, my Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men will be out at the end of this month (look for a link to pre-order it coming soon on puckerup.com)! Plus, I re-teamed with Vixen Creations to create the Special Anniversary Edition of the Tristan Butt Plug; it’s a gorgeous toy and it’s available exclusively at Babeland . Check out this fantastic review!

I am getting ready to travel to Chicago, where two of my friends are getting married. Then, I head to LA, where I’ll be shooting three new movies for Vivid and working on editing the first volume of my new video series, Rough Sex. After a brief stop in Seattle to see family, I’ll be back in New York for nearly the entire summer. I’m looking forward to being home, catching up with friends, and taking a break from my insane work and travel schedule!

with lube + affection,
Tristan

P.S. I’m still in love with Twitter, please come follow me: http://www.twitter.com/tristantaormino

My trip to Boston was fantastic: a standing room only reading at indie bookstore Symposium Books on Saturday and a sold-out workshop at Good Vibrations on Monday. Boston was showing me some major love! Plus, I got to hang out with my big brother and his partner and spend some quality time together. As promised, several people at the workshop requested local resources, and here they are:

Poly Boston

Informal Poly Meet Ups: Tuesday at the Diesel Cafe in Davis Square.  They run from 4 pm-10 pm, with most people showing up between 5-7 pm.  This has no formal organizer and no host.  Just show up.

Queer Women’s Poly Meet Up: the 2nd Wednesday of the month. Please RSVP to Donna, dalbino83 at yahoo.com.

Monday Poly Dinners at Bertucci’s: Every fourth Monday at the Bertucci’s Pizzeria at the Alewife T station.  Please RSVP to Jay, js at aq.org.

Bostonians and other locals, feel free to chime in via the comments with others…

I have a bunch of events this coming weekend as part of the Poly Pride festivities. I’m one of the speakers at the Rally in Central Park on Saturday and will be in the park for the picnic, rally, and hanging around. Sunday, there is a big reading of authors with poly-related books at Bluestockings, and I will read from Opening Up. Afterwards, I’ve been invited to the Poly Leadership Summit, which should be interesting. Monday and Tuesday, I’ll be working, having meetings, and seeing friends. Then I head to the College of Wooster in Wooster, Ohio, where I’ll give a talk on queer sex. I love Wooster, I have spoken there several times and it’s always a good time!

You may have noticed I’ve been off the grid…I was in Europe and I shall tell you all about it. But first, we must pick up where we left off: Columbus, Ohio.

We arrived in Delaware, Ohio at Mireille and Dorian’s house where we planned to stay overnight. It was pouring rain! I met Mireille at a conference in May; she is a professor at UC Santa Barbara, and we hit it off right away. This was the first time we got to meet each other’s partners. Then Colten and I were off to Columbus. We had dinner with Michael and Robbie who showed us the Pride Issue of Outlook Weekly, hot off the press! Outlook Weekly co-sponsored my Columbus reading and really helped get the word out.

Michael, Robbie, and I with the Pride issue of Outlook Weekly

After dinner, we headed to a Chinese restaurant where a group of about twenty-five people from a local poly group were eating. They had made my reading their monthly outing! We visited for a while with Barak and Brat Sheba of Adventures in Sexuality (who have presented at Dark Odyssey and are wonderful), and I was surprised to learn that Julia, who we know from DO too, has moved to Columbus to be with her sweetheart.

We all went over to Borders where I was greeted by a nice woman who showed me where I’d be reading. This was my first Opening Up reading at a big chain store (rather than an independent one), and I realized that I had to edit my talk slightly since there would be customers (especially kids) roaming the store. Lorna drove from Yellow Springs, Mireille and Dorian were there, and so was Luster, who we haven’t seen in a million years. Luster is an amazing performer and drag king from Columbus who also organizes the International Drag King Extravaganza (IDKE), which is celebrating its 10th anniversary this fall.

I read for a while then took questions. We raffled off the Astroglide basket, and a well-know guy from the local poly community, along with several of his partners, were thrilled to win. It was once again standing room only at the store (with over 50 people there, and one clerk told me they expected 10-15), and they sold out of books! The Midwest just showed me so much love—I cannot get over it!

One of my interviewees in Columbus came to the reading and introduced herself and her partner. She was such a sweetheart and she brought me the most amazing gift: a cupcake made of old sweaters created by her mom. How fantastic is that?

Afterwards, we went to a local ice cream place called Graeters, where I ordered the specialty: a buckeye sundae with peanut butter chocolate chip ice cream and hot fudge. It was yummy, but I couldn’t finish it, so Dorian gladly helped me out! We drove back to Delaware in one of the worst rain storms I have ever driven in. There was golf-ball sized rain drops coming down, and it was insane. We all made it home in one piece and the four of us hung out. Mireille and Dorian showed us pictures from their trip to Europe which got me very excited for ours! Then we fell asleep in one of the most comfortable beds we’ve been in on our trip. We woke up the next morning, drove to the airport, and got on a plane to New Orleans!

After St. Louis, we took a little detour up to Indiana, near Michigan City, to see some relatives. It was a relaxing two days; we went out on Lake Michigan and a nearby river. Then we drove down to Yellow Springs, Ohio to visit Lorna, Phil, and Basil. Lorna treated us to amazing home cooked meals as I toiled away on the laptop, finishing my talk for PornoPunkFeminism: Queer Micro-politics and Subaltern Pornographies, the conference I am going to in Spain next week. In the process, I brushed up on my PowerPoint skills and created a presentation that looks really cool! Tonight, we go to Columbus, where I will read at Borders on Sawmill Road. I can’t wait to see all our Columbus friends!

Chris from STL Poly Community was kind enough to send an email and follow up with me after my reading, and now here is the revised, updated list of polyamory resources in St. Louis and Missouri:

Bi State Poly List (Yahoo Group)

St. Louis Poly Community (Yahoo Group)
note: this a restricted-access group, but anyone who mentions coming from openingup.net will be granted
immediate access.

St. Louis Regional Polyamory (SLURP)

These three groups also meet together offline/in real life: there is a Poly Munch the 2nd Saturday of each month from 2:00-4:00 pm at Cici’s Pizza, 9745 Manchester Avenue.

PoDGE stL (Yahoo Group)

PoDGE St. Louis meets the 3rd Tuesday of each month and the location varies. However, the next meeting is Tuesday, June 24 at 7:30 pm at Gelateria del Leone, 3197 South Grand Avenue.

And:

CoMo Poly Yahoo Group (Columbia, MO)

St. Louis Polyamory on LiveJournal

St. Louis Gay Poly Triads

Thanks, Chris!

I slept late for the first time in a very long time, then Kendyl, Mary, Colten, and I went to a crepe place for breakfast/lunch. Then, we went to the St. Louis Zoo in Forest Park. We wandered around and checked out all the animals. Here are some of my favorites (Colten took all the photos):

The Malayan Sun Bear

Mary and I with the elephant exhibit behind us

The Cheetah

We came home and decided to barbeque while Colten and Mary worked on a yard project and I played with their dog Emma.

After dinner, we sampled cupcakes from Kendyl’s favorite bakery, The Cupcakery. I got to try bites of several different kinds. The confetti (yellow cake with buttercream icing) was surprisingly angel foody. The lemon drop (a special that’s not on the usual menu) was amazing, especially the lemon cake. The peanut butter cup (chocolate cake with peanut buttercream frosting) was heavenly! In addition, Kendyl insisted we also try another dessert (from a different place), a special treat called sticky toffee pudding (which is actually like a cake not a pudding) that she loves. It was super sweet, but I admit I was distracted by the cupcakes.

We arrived in St. Louis about an hour before the reading, so it was a quick hello to our friend Kendyl, who we were staying with, and then it was off to the Central West End. When I got to the store, the staff was super nice and welcoming, but I admit I was worried about the turn out. Kendyl promised she had recruited several friends to come, but still, I don’t know very many people in St. Louis! As it approached 7 pm, all the chairs were filled and they started to put out more. Then, those were filled too and so was the room. People began standing in the next room over!

Shane Signorino, who works at the store, said he planned to introduce me. When he got up there, he gave a brief history of Left Bank Books, then began his introduction of me, which he generously agreed to let me reprint (here’s a portion):

What better spearhead could one find for spreading the knowledge of truly open unions than a sexually empowered woman with literary, performance, and artistic acumen. Miss Taormino is a virtual decorated veteran daughter of the sexual revolution…How lucky we are to have the Siddharta, the Gaia, the Rockefeller, the Oprah of psycho-sexual pleasure with us this evening.

In Opening Up, Tristan addresses the archaic mainstream, television spoonfed, traditional monogamous relationship’s loss of vitality, joy, and exploration. With the divorce rate resting at an astounding 75%, it is fairly obvious to the discerning mind that something is not working. Why are sexless/loveless marriages rampant? Why has the evolution of the typical union been considered by many to be “the big fade”? Can we not re-examine our suppositions, superstitions, and insecurities to find a more profound way to love and lust. Miss Taormino screams an emphatic Billy Idol rebel yell of a “Fuck Yes!” She takes her rightful place among other visionaries who continually challenge human beings to realize and revel in tyheir potentialities. In the tumultuous 60s, civil rights advocates, sexual revolution acolytes, psychedelic mind-expansion gurus, and all who sought radical change, were pushing for the next step in human evolution. And these ideals have been resuscitated in recent years as we find ourselves part of a great human epoch where our natural resources have almost dissipated and out ways of life must be examined and created anew. So Tristan brings to her readers the most precious of boons: hope for the long-overdue loving human evolution.

Not only had he read the entire book in anticipation of my reading at the store, his introduction was so thoughtful and eloquent, I was overwhelmed! Plus, his delivery was so amazing, he was actually a hard act to follow. I think I managed. I read a section of the introduction plus two of the profiles of people featured in the book.

The reading went really well, with lots of questions from the audience. One person asked about how she could meet other people into open relationships in the area. Several people from one of the local polyamorous groups in St. Louis offered to share the info, which I agreed to post about. So here goes for all you interested Missourians:

St. Louis Polyamory on LiveJournal

Bi State Poly List (Yahoo Group)

St. Louis Poly Community (Yahoo Group)

At least two of these three groups also meet together offline/in real life: there is a Poly Munch the 2nd Saturday of each month from 2:00-4:00 pm at Cici’s Pizza, 9745 Manchester Avenue.

PoDGE stL (Yahoo Group)

PoDGE St. Louis meets the 3rd Tuesday of each month and the location varies. The next meeting is Tuesday, June 24 at 7:30 pm at Gelateria del Leone, 3197 South Grand Avenue.

After I did some poking around online I also found:

St. Louis Gay Poly Triads

I felt a tremendous amount of love from St. Louis. As I signed people’s books, I got several dinner offers, and wished I could go to all of them. But Kendyl, her partner Mary (who had an exam and came at the end of the reading) and a bunch of their friends planned to take Colten and I to dinner to one of Mary’s favorite spots, Bar Louie. It was way too loud in there, but their tater tots rock.

So, we got up early and hit the road. On the way to Madison, we made a brief stop at Carr Valley Cheese Factory in Mauston, which was nearly overwhelming to a cheese lover like me! They had already finished making cheese for the day, so there was nothing to see through the big glass window. We ate samples, chatted with the women who worked there and walked out with 6 different cheeses plus a cooler to keep them in!

We got a four year old cheddar, applewood smoked cheddar, spicy cranberry-chipotle cheese, aged sheep’s milk cheese, gouda, and garlic cheddar spread.

My cheese stash from Carr Valley. Mmmmmmm…

We arrived in Madison, checked into the hotel, munched on some new cheese, then I got dressed. Graydancer (bondage dude, rope artist, blogger, podcaster, and perv) arrived to interview me for his podcast, Ropecast. He had already listened to Cunning Minx’s interview with me on her podcast, and he was prepared with a unique set of questions so there wouldn’t be any overlap. He’s very bright, personable, and thoughtful, and we had a great conversation. Then, it was off to A Woman’s Touch. The store is really cool, and owner Ellen stayed to meet me even though she had a class to go to. I met her adorable dogs, too! I signed some copies of Opening Up for people and hung out until my class began. I presented my workshop Making Open Relationships Work to a diverse group and got great questions. Afterwards, Colten, Graydancer, his partner, and I went to dinner at a local place called Weary Traveler. How appropriate! Tomorrow, we head to St. Louis!

Me and Graydancer

Traveling is going well, but I must say, one of the toughest things about being on the road is that we are carting around clothes, supplies for workshops, books, Astroglide baskets and samples, and all our other necessities. This is what that looks likes:

Last night, I taught at Galleria Domain 2 to a packed crowd. There were something like 95 people there, with lots of newbies! It was a really impressive space: a smart layout, nice equipment including some unique pieces, a good social area, and an overall vibe that was comfortable, welcoming, sexy, and accessible. Bravo to the owners, managers, and members for maintaining such an awesome space and offering so much to the community! The class went really well, and I got to chat with a lot of people before and afterward. We sold out of our personal stash of copies of Opening Up, and took orders to ship some. I wanted to stay and take advantage of the space, but I was starving, so we took Femcar to dinner near where we are staying. Then we re-packed and fell into bed for an early breakfast. This morning, we ate with Jet, Amber, and Ray at a local diner (great French toast), then we loaded up the car and got on the road, headed to Milwaukee.