Check out my interview with the wonderful Cunning Minx on her podcast Polyamory Weekly. It’s show #159. As you listen, picture the two of us crammed into the studio with a cameraman and his big camera. Sweaty!
Check out my interview on the Feast of Fools podcast, and let me know what you think!
The book tour landed in a hot and muggy Chicago this week! I hit the ground running and first up was a podcast interview with Cunning Minx, who does the incredibly popular Polyamory Weekly show. It was great to finally get to meet this smart, sassy, and fearless poly podcaster! We squeezed into her home recording studio with a camera guy who is doing a documentary about her show. The room heated up quickly, but I wasn’t going to complain about being a little sweaty in close quarters with Minx!
After grabbing lunch with her and Phantom, I headed over to the see Marc and Fausto, the brilliant hosts of the Feast of Fools podcast. True to their iTunes ratings, they were indeed hilarious. They were also warm, generous with the swag, and we had lots of fun talking about open relationships. They played a wonderful song as the intro to our interview, and when I commented that I liked it, they gave me the CD! How awesome is that? It’s Shine by Sarah Bettens
Then I headed to my reading at Women and Children First. W&CF is one of the largest feminist bookstores in the country and it was an honor to be able to do a reading there. I arrived about 10 minutes early and got to visit with a few friends before things kicked off. People continued to trickle in and I was amazed to be in front of a standing room only crowd! Thanks to everyone who came out for the reading, participated in the dialogue, and hung around afterwards to keep the discussion going. The store actually SOLD OUT of my book, so not everyone who wanted to buy it could. I actually sold my copy of the book which I read from and marked with all sorts of tags. That’s never happened to me, ever! Wow. Afterwards, I went to sushi with Jessica, Jet, Amber, and Ray, then we headed out for ice cream and cupcakes at Sweet Occasions. Yum!
I am doing a workshop this afternoon in Chicago, then we head to Milwaukee in the morning for a reading at A Woman’s Touch. I cannot wait to go get some fresh cheese!!!
Here’s number three of four of my posts about the book, “Making A Straight/Queer Marriage Work” on the new Village Voice sex blog Naked City edited by Audacia Ray.
Here’s the second of my four posts about Opening Up on the new Village Voice sex blog Naked City edited by Audacia Ray. It’s called “Solo Polyamorists.”
I’m doing a series of blog posts all month about the research for Opening Up at The Village Voice’s new sexuality blog, Naked City, which is edited by the fabulous Audacia Ray. Here is the first one: “Open Up: Women With Two Husbands.” Enjoy!
I am quoted in Dan Eldridge’s piece, “Marriage Without Monogamy,” which is part of a series he did for Tango Magazine. Check it out as well as the other pieces in his series. In fact, Tango has lots of pieces on non-monogamy, so look at the links at the bottom of his column for those.
My latest Village Voice column, “The New Wave of Trans Cinema,” features Morty Diamond’s latest film, Trans-Entities: The Nasty Love of Papi and Wil about a kinky, genderqueer, polyamorous couple. They openly discuss their poly relationship and share a scene with one of their lovers. It’s a wonderful film and an intimate look at the lives of two fascinating people.
Deborah Taj Anapol, the author of Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits and one of the pioneers in the polyamory community, recently wrote to me asking for some help.
She writes:
…Dozens of fantastic but now irrelevant memories of Thailand, Cambodia, and Hong Kong flash through my mind. Unless you ask, I’ll spare you the details of the wonders I saw: The magnificent ruins at Angkor Wat, the huge crystal Shiva Lingam deep in a Buddhist cave temple near Chiang Mai, the nearly deserted hot spring pools outside of Pai, the Jade Buddha in the Kings Palace in Bangkok, endangered pink dolphins in Hong Kong waters. Instead I want to share the three big discoveries I made on this trip.
1. Men and women in Asia struggle with the exact same relationship issues and dynamics that we do in the West. Of course, since we have all inherited the legacy of patriarchy!
2. In the very oldest Angkor temples, dating back to around 800 AD, there is evidence of equality and mutual respect and trust between men and women. The sculpted images of both temple dancers and warriors include male and female figures. By 1200 AD this had shifted to many scenes of battle among male warriors and a few female “asparas” or “dakinis.” Interestingly, these dates correspond to a similar shift spoken of in the oral history of the native Hawaiian people.
3. This one is more personal. While Asia is fascinating, and I look forward to visiting again, Hawaii speaks to my soul. Through my travels I was shown that Hawaii is my true home, as I have always known, and I must stay open to find ways around the apparent obstacles which block my return.
In that spirit, I am now asking you all to help me reclaim my dream of continuing to live at Lokahi Farm. It appears that the opportunity has arisen to buy out the co-owner’s share of the farm, but I no longer have access to the funds to do this. As many of you know, the Golden Age at Lokahi Farm floundered when what I imagined to be a shared vision was revealed to be anything but that. It took me over a year to come to peace with the idea that I would have to give up this magical place. But the land would not release me.
If there is one lesson—and there have been MANY—I’ve learned in this process, it has been to ask for help voluntarily! It’s not easy, but I’m getting there. In order to keep the Farm, I need to raise about $125,000. Now. That might seem like a lot, but if each and every one of you reading this contributed just $100, that would do it!
Over the years thousands of people have thanked me for helping them create the lives they’d always dreamed of living. They’ve freed themselves internal prisons of guilt, shame, and limiting beliefs. They’ve met friends, lovers, mates, whole communities of kindred spirits. They’ve been inspired to live their dreams and had peak experiences they couldn’t even begin to imagine. They tell me it would never have happened without me. If you are one of these people (or if you’d like to be!), you are being overly generous if you give me credit for the beautiful life you’ve created for yourself. But I ask you, please be as generous now with your pocketbook as you’ve been with your words! If I’ve improved the quality of your life in any significant way, consider helping me out of this difficult situation! I’m not asking for a handout (although donations will be gratefully accepted) but I am asking that you PREPAY your next workshop, private retreat, or coaching session now so I can raise the cash to claim ownership of Lokahi Farm. Buy now and collect your products anytime within the next year! If we succeed, the first six people to enroll are invited to be my guests at the Farm for a week of celebration.
To see what your money can buy and pay by Visa or Mastercard, go here or click on the store link on lovewithoutlimits.com and go to the “miscellaneous” category. If you prefer to pay by check, send checks to Deborah Anapol, POB 335, Fairfax, CA 94978. Together we can do what I cannot do alone. Please help restore my faith in community! I thank you in advance with all my heart.—Taj
Welcome to OpeningUp.net. I created this site as a resource for folks interested in all kinds of open relationships, including: nonmonogamy, partnered nonmonogamy, polyamory, solo polyamory, polyfidelity, swinging, open marriage, mixed orientation marriage, and mono/poly combinations. Check out the Resources section to see an up-to-date version of the Resource Guide in the book. The Open List is a list of professionals (therapists, psychologists, doctors, coaches, etc.) who are knowledgable and experienced with nonmonogamy. Check them out!
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